Ah, the healing power of a lasagna!
Besides that, I also was reminded of something very important during arguments.
I don't know about you all out there in the blogosphere, but when I'm in an argument, I find it very difficult to keep an open mind. Instead, I'm internally scrambling for both damage control and evidence to prove my case. My mind is a very busy little bee and frequently the result of this is that I feel frantic and end up backing myself into a corner where I feel I must take a stand, and this simply increases the frantic thoughts, kind of like a ping pong ball at the world cup in Beijing. Some times even I loose track of the point I was trying to make in defense of the case which is already hazy but feels absolutely necessary to prove.
It would be great if instead of trying to make a point, I just listen. And listen from the secure point of validating my own emotion, which frees me from needing that validation desperately from Keith. I would be able to listen from the secure point of knowing I'm in control of myself, as opposed to feeling, as sometimes happens in an argument, that I need to win control from Keith.
It would be great if, instead of fighting for control, I simply own it and in return, completely let go of trying to control Keith. It would be great if, at the beginning of the argument, I was able to just give him complete freedom to feel what he needs to feel, say what he needs to say and do what he needs to do, instead of finally remembering at the tail end.
Wouldn't this be wonderful? Wouldn't that just take all the stress and intensity out of an argument? It would cease to be an argument and just be a very eye opening and valuable conversation.
I was finally able to extricate myself from my own dead end later on in the evening and it was awesome; it was like stepping out of a small box into the wide open sky. What's even better about reaching that point is that it also liberates my husband. My abandoning my corner suddenly disengages the entire boxing ring. (Or ping pong table, whatever metaphor one wants to go with.)
Marriage is certainly one of life's great adventures. In what other institution can a misplaced ice cube teach so many life lessons?
In other news, I can now do the step-knee-back-back just perfectly and have lost a pound and a half. I have been doing the work out for three days straight and have forgotten what it feels like to not have my thigh muscles ache day and night. Today I might give them a break and do the ab tightening exercises included on the video.
Or, I might just have a small bowl of bittersweet chocolate morsels and watch TV. Or bake a chocolate banana loaf recipe I came across recently and am dying to make.
(OK... eat.)
