Dammit, I only lost one pound this week after all. Stupid weight loss projection gadget. If I hadn't seen that, I would be like, "Hey, I'm right on track!"
The numbers are just a mind game anyway; what's more important is that I feel better and have noticeably more muscle tone. (That's what I keep on telling myself. Deep down inside though, I want that number to drop down, dammit.)
Yesterday I exceeded my calorie budget for the first time. That was all Keith's fault! (That's my story and I'm sticking to it.) If only he hadn't ordered pizza! If only he hadn't bought Birthday Bash ice cream. Did you know you can buy cake flavored ice cream with frozen blue ribbons of frosting all through it? No diet can prepare a person for that!
Today's a new day and if this week I don't lose another pound I'll pull my hair out.
Our move is coming up. Keith got his orders to report to Ft. Benning by very early May. That means we'll be leaving here mid April, so we have about two more months. This is the part where it's easy to get anxious, largely because there's absolutely nothing to do yet except wonder. For example:
What kind of houses will be available for rent? Where will we look? When will they be available? Where will the grocery stores be? How far will Keith have to commute? How long will we have to stay with friends until we've found a house?
The answer is: Who knows! And we won't know until April. There's just no way of knowing until then. We've looked at houses on line but we know from experience that there's just no substitute for seeing in person. Also, when we do find a great house, it's just frustrating because we know that house probably won't be on the market by the time we get there, so why even look?
I am starting to get excited too, though. I do know a few people in Georgia and I'll be five hours away from another friend. I wonder what spring will look like in that state. I'm expecting beauty beyond compare, to be honest.
And we're getting a fair amount back on taxes. We will most definitely be debt free by next month. The rest goes straight into savings, not just for the adoption, but because our renter in Colorado got her orders too, so she'll be moving out in June.
I'm trying not to be anxious about that as well, but that's a tough one. How long to find a new renter? How much of our savings will a mortgageplusrent eat up? What if we can't afford the adoption? What if we get in over our heads?
It can all get overwhelming very quickly. I remember the last move, going through the same process. All that worrying did us no good, and everything worked out just as it was supposed to. So I'm just trying to stay relaxed, enjoy the time we have here, the serenity of an unpacked house, weeks yet of calm and just trust that everything will fall into place when the time comes.
And I will lose a pound this week.
