What? Two blogs in one day, again?
Yes; and thus I demonstrate my commitment to procrastination.
So, sometimes when I get stuck in my writing, or feel exhausted and drained by it, I find myself reaching for the paperback book of... unique quality. I find the phrases held within such books to be soothing. Here are two of my favorites:
"He was beautiful and his voice had the smoothness of aged brandy and the kick of white lightning."
Would I ever like to know what the hell that voice sounds like. I'm sure if I heard a man whose (very smooth) voice was enhanced by a kick of white lightning, I would keel over, his instant conquest. That, or I would run screaming for the hills.
"Rich stared at her, shocked by the reply he hadn't expected. Confusion had never been his strong point."
Thank goodness confusion wasn't his strong point. I mean, that would suck, right? And he was shocked, you say, shocked by something he hadn't expected? What a revelation.
Though, making fun of other people's writing does make me nervous. I start looking behind me for karma's stealthy approach. But that's ok; I can make fun of my own writing just as easily, for my ridiculous and unnecessary vocabulary, my incessant and mostly incorrect use of the semicolon, run on sentences and my consistent inability to distinguish the past tense of "to shine" with the present perfect tense of "to show."
(I totally Googled those verb tenses by the way. So if they're wrong, it's Google's fault.)