Tuesday, August 9, 2011

August 9th

Ok, time for various updates.

So the visit went well, even though it rained almost the entire afternoon, leaving us with all five children in the house. This is a large house for two people. It's a very small house for nine people, even if some of them were very small people.

The littlest girl spent some time in the kitchen with me, running her truck over the floor and pouring the baked beans into the pot. She sat smack dab on the floor, plump little legs out stretched, and husked corn with great satisfaction, careful to put all the green corn husks in the plastic trash back.

After a while, the rain let up and every one got in the pool. It was like a typhoon in there.

It went well, and I didn't need to make too much conversation. Oh, and here's how far off track I am when it comes to that. The two adults were on their way down to get married. Did I ask her about her dress, hair, make up, ceremony, anything?

No. No, I didn't. And not because I didn't care, but because it didn't occur to me.

Oh, yes. That is how weird a woman I am.

Keith passed pretty much his last test in his class and the rest of the time will be spent on simulators. Over half the class didn't make it through.

There are a lot of drill sergeant and recruiters in that class, and Keith is now thinking about putting in a packet to become a recruiter.

Who knows. When we first heard we were moving down here, we thought Keith would be a drill sergeant, but that changed. Stuff changes a lot.

But I like the idea, for several reasons. One is that the school is only six weeks long. Another is that we would be able to choose where we would be stationed. It could be anywhere; we are thinking Montana. Another is that, theoretically, we would be able to count on staying there for three years. Another is that it comes with a pay increase.

You know what all that adds up to? Adoption, that's what.

Moreover, Keith has softened up considerably on international adoption. Right from the beginning, Keith said no international adoption; he was worried about travel in foreign countries.

So I started focusing on domestic adoption- foster, fost adopt, and infant adoption. Maybe we still will pursue this path. Who knows? We keep going back and forth.

However, from time to time, my heartstrings would get pulled by pictures of little dark haired girls with honey skin, from South or Central America. I was watching Anthony Bourdain in, I think, Nicaragua, and he visited the capital city dump. Small children were raking through the trash with hooks, searching for food or recycleables that they could turn in for pennies.

Oh my goodness. I was just undone. So I talked to Keith about it and learned that he was open to the idea of international adoption. Oh my goodness.

So, who knows. But I have adoption on the brain right now.

Torii is just racing right along. Pieces keep falling into place. Though Gilly continues to occasionally crash the story with her unrelenting reality. That is, she isn't a character I can force to my own time line. She folds her arms and declares, "I won't."

And that's that.

For example, I keep wanting her to process her anger and disappointment at her parents. It's bottled up inside of her and it causes occasional and intense emotional imbalances in her. Tenshio coaxes and encourages her, but to no avail. She won't process the anger.

So I have given up. Maybe she won't do that until she's an older child.