It's a lovely, soft and rainy morning.
I keep thinking, I really have to stop talking about how I experience God or people really are going to think I've gone off the deep end. This probably reflects as much my own amazement as anything else.
When I was growing up in the Christian church, I learned that it was possible to experience the presence of God- usually in church, though not always. I also learned about hearing the voice of God. I learned that this can be through a verse, or something is impressed on our hearts- which I think means through our spirit, or by some outside source that confirms our internal question.
I was very familiar with these things growing up. I was cautioned though, to double check everything I might have "heard" to the Bible, to verify that it was from God. I still do that, actually, and I like it best when He speaks to me through verses, though He has many ways of communicating with us.
So, what I am experiencing is not actually all that strange, it's just that, I've never experienced it in such a prolonged way- like, day after day and night after night. And never with such tender and loving attention to detail.
And when I say that I heard Christ speak, just in case you are wondering, I am not actually hearing a voice. I hear Him in my spirit, as He illuminates an idea or concept for me.
And lots of times, I ask Him things and don't get an exact reply. He's not like a Ouija board or a Magic Eight ball- I can't shake Him until the right answer comes out.
I was talking to my dad this morning about a particular quandary and Dad said "Why don't you try asking Him?"
And I was all, "I did, but He didn't answer and I can't conjure Him. He's sovereign."
Dad laughed. "Darn! You mean, you can't control God?"
"I know, right? What's up with that?"
As C.S. Lewis has said so well- He's not a tame lion.
But we can talk to Him, and He hears us. And He is right next to us, whether we feel Him or not. And even when He does not answer, He cares intimately about what we are saying and feeling. He doesn't forget anything we tell Him.
That alone is such wealth! The fact that sometimes, He speaks directly to us, in our heart or spirit, or whatever, is beyond amazing.
