Well, I heard from my father's friend, the professional writer. He called me yesterday afternoon.
Basically, what it is, is that I have someone who will get my book published, provided I can write one. He presented me with this huge opportunity just as a gift. He said to me, you have the ability, the life experience and the point of view- write it, and I will help you publish it.
I gathered that I could write any type of novel I felt like, but it would need to be either fiction or memoir, not fantasy. His publisher friend is open to novels from an evangelical view point- apparently, she is working with a few such authors.
He said that the trick is to get the first book published, after that I could pretty much write anything I wanted. So, if I can get something really good out now, later I can hopefully get Torii published, once I've got it as it should be.
This time I managed not to say "oh my gosh" as often as the last time, but I sure felt like saying it. I can't say that I was cool and collected, but I was less of a spaz, so that's good.
Now I'm all paralyzed and my head is still spinning. I have this incredible opportunity. What should I do? What should I write? How should I format it? What should be my theme? What should be my plot line?
I can't write about my entire life, because it's just too much material for one novel. I have to narrow stuff down. Should I narrow down in advance, or should I just free write until a theme appears?
I talked with my dad and he had some good ideas. He thought I could try and find an overarching metaphor for the entire story, to help define it.
Also, we talked about making a list of all the important or defining emotional moments or junctions in my life and then writing out each of them like chapters and head them up with a quote that sums up that period or experience.
I'm going to start there and see what happens.
I don't think I can make it fiction. I can't find a fiction that would properly illustrate or capture the reality- apparently for me it's either complete fantasy or true to life, with no middle ground. Or maybe I can, after I've got some ideas in order.
Well, I guess I should stop worrying about it and just start working on it.