Friday, January 13, 2012

January 13th

It feels like I haven't blogged in forever!

I have been caught up in some intense hunger for reading and studying of the Bible these last few days, and as the lessons are new to me, I'm just not confident about blogging about them. I'm still trying to understand everything.

Each day is like a whole new adventure in Jesus. I wake up in the morning and think, "Where in the world is He going to take me today? What will I learn? What will I do?"

Yesterday, I got so caught up in this study that in the evening, I realized that I was missing Jesus.

"I miss You!" I told Him, wistfully. "I feel like I haven't spent any time with You today."

You've been reading My Word all day long, Jesus reminded me, with tender humor.

"Yeah, but that's not the same as spending time with You," I replied.

You went on a walk with Me and talked to Me a mile a minute about all the things you've been learning, Jesus said with the same tender love.

"Yeah, but that was for just... maybe an hour. I want more of You," I insisted.

So I kept tugging on Him and asking Him and reaching out to Jesus, in my spirit. And that night, I got to just hang out with Jesus and spend some quality time with Him.

I'm constantly asking Jesus for more of Him. I want to understand Him better, to see Him and hear Him more clearly.

Jesus is constantly answering those prayers, but He told me that if I heard Him more clearly, my faith wouldn't be able to grow.

"Alright," I said, resigned. "I understand, I get it. Faith is very important. It must grow. I'll suffer along in this confusion if it means long term good things and because I know You are always in control and will faithfully lead me along."

Jesus is the author of my faith- and that faith came to me as a gift from the Father Himself. So, I am in good hands, for sure.

This morning, I flipped my little calendar and read this:

"I give You thanks, O Lord, with all my heart... I bow before Your holy temple as I worship. I will give thanks to Your name for Your unfailing love and faithfulness, because Your promises are backed by all the honor of Your Name."
Psalm 138:1-2

Only, when I read that, I thought, "I am His holy temple! He lives in me!"

So, you might say, that I throw the whole temple down in joy and love before Jesus, to worship Him.

Who knew life could be so exciting without even leaving the house except to walk in the park?

In the meantime, Keith has begun his last training mission. His higher-ups realized that no one but Keith knew how to run the darn things, and that they'd better start training someone else to take his place, when he came down on orders.

He is in the running for another job, as Platoon Sergeant in another company. If he got the job, we would stay here for a guaranteed two years.

We don't exactly love Georgia, but we love the idea of staying anywhere for another two years, since we are coming, slowly, closer and closer to beginning the adoption plans. If Keith got the job, it would be a huge piece that would fall into place for us.

I feel very peaceful and relaxed about the whole thing- I know that everything will happen as Jesus plans it to happen, one day at a time. One day at a time is very do-able.