Wednesday, May 9, 2012

May 9th

I'm writing again.


I love to write. Quel surprise.

But really, if it's been a while, I forget the joy of it, the joy that is bound up in the work. It's just pleasurable, to spin the phrases out.

In other news, if you happen to be healing from a bad fall, let me tell you what you should not do. (So gracious of me, don't you think, to give out unsolicited advice?)

You should not attempt, out of frustration, to peel off the scab.

Because, first of all, don't only elementary children do that? It's embarrassing that I'm even admitting to this.

But I guess if I was upfront about the fact that I was running wildly around the pool in hot pursuit of my husband, in order to tackle the hell out of him, I can be real enough to admit to this. It's in character, after all.

Moving right along to my second point, peeling off a scab will hurt. And then you will realized that you have inflicted further pain upon a part of oneself that is already wounded. Then you may or may not sit there, feeling a wash of deep injustice- only, you did it to yourself, so what can you say?

Then, if you have any sort of metaphorical bent to you, you will realize that this is a perfect metaphor for what you do to yourself on a daily basis, only those scars aren't visible to the naked eye.

Also, and on a completely different note, I feel as if I must copy and paste pretty much the entire Daily Meditation for Richard Rohr today, because... well, you will see why:

"'We don’t teach meditation to the young monks. They are not ready for it until they stop slamming doors.'

~ Thich Nhat Hanh to Thomas Merton in 1966

The piercing truth of this statement struck me as a perfect way to communicate the endless disguises and devices of the false self. There is no more clever way for the false self to hide than behind the mask of spirituality.

"The human ego will always try to name, categorize, fix, control, and insure all its experiences. For the ego everything is a commodity. It lives inside of self-manufactured boundaries instead of inside the boundaries of the God-self. It lives out of its own superior image instead of mirroring the image of God.

"The ego is constantly searching for any solid and superior identity. A spiritual self-image gives us status, stability, and security. There is no better way to remain unconscious than to baptize and bless the forms of religion, even prayer itself, instead of surrendering to the Substance Itself.

"First stop slamming doors, and then you can begin in the kindergarten of spirituality. Too many priests, bishops, and ministers are still slamming doors.

In the name of seeking God, the ego pads and protects itself from self-discovery, which is an almost perfect cover for its inherent narcissism. I know this because I have done it all myself."

-Richard Rohr, adapted from Contemplation in Action, pp. 79-80

Yes. The ego will try and do all that stuff. Mine will, anyway.

What does this mean? How can I make it stay? What does it say about me? What should I do with this?

Etc, etc. That's what the ego is concerned with.

Thank God, it seems that my ego can't get to far out of whack before I literally or figuratively trip myself up. This is what our weaknesses can do for us; they are a great gift.

Thank goodness, God is such a beautiful mystery and expresses so much divine and sovereign love, that we cannot possibly grasp Him or pin Him down, or make a suitable house for Him, because His unfailing love fills the earth.

That was from my verse today, by the way. What a mind blowing concept that is.

We can't pin Him down, but we can let Him hold us, scabs and all. We can surrender to the simple, inexplicable truth of it.