Wednesday, September 5, 2012

September 5th

So, yesterday we submitted the official first form for the adoption placement agency.

That only took three months to do. (That's said in a sarcastic tone of voice, by the way.)

That step has nothing to do with the home study, either. We weren't waiting on anything or anyone to complete that particular form. (Still waiting on Colorado for the homestudy, by the way.)

I just couldn't finish this particular form until I was ready to finish it. There is a lot that goes into that form. That form determines what baby we will eventually be placed with, and filling it out was excruciating.

Would we be willing to accept a baby whose birth mother had HIV/AIDS? What if it was mental illness? What if it wasn't the birth mother who suffered from mental illness, what if it was her brother? Would we adopt the baby then?

What if the birth mother took heroin during pregnancy? What if it was only once a month? What if it was ecstasy?

Birth mothers smoke cigarettes so frequently during their pregnancy that accepting daily cigarette use is mandatory for a potential adoptive couple.

Then there's how much money are you willing/able to spend on your adoption.

Then there's review questions about how we have or have not resolved our feelings of loss around infertility, and every other adoption issue imaginable.

And then there's this whole section on race that I don't even want to talk about, because it's so maddening.

Last night we did our final review and submitted the form. Now we wait to be contacted by an adoption specialist who will review our choices over the phone with us, making sure we understand how those choices will impact our adoption process.

So, the next part of the process has been unlocked, and that is the print/photo profile.

In the meantime, it's unlikely our house will be rent-able this month, as it needs too many repairs from the last renters. In fact, it seems likely that they will not receive any of their security deposit. So, there might be two double mortgage months in a row, further postponing our adoption.

Keith is frequently on the phone with our previous property manager, as well as our current property manager, as well as buddies of his who still live up there, to see who can make what repairs.

Down here, our pool service hasn't appeared for the last month, so Keith is withholding their fee from this month's rent. Normally, the cost of pool maintenance is included in the rent.

The realty company who manages this house is supposed to oversee the pool maintenance, but weeks ago, our previous agent left the company and no one knows who is in charge of our house anymore. No one knows what is going on with the pool company. Keith talks to a different person each time he calls.

Of course, the realty company are protesting that we must pay them the full rent, and Keith is protesting that he is not going to pay for a service he has not received.

In the meantime, we sent them off partial rent, which I am sure they will be thrilled to received (sarcasm again) and Keith has reported them to the Better Business Bureau.

I can't help but notice, even in the stress, that all these problems are very much middle class problems. I mean, I'm complaining about the stress of home ownership, expected rental income, the maintenance of a pool, and the complexities of domestic infant adoption, all of which are possible only at a certain comfortable level of income.

I have it bad only because I have it so damn good.