Thursday, October 18, 2012

October 18th

I'm stuck in another one of those long stretches of suspension.

The house in Colorado still has not rented. We're getting by, but that's about all.

I have actually written out an entire plot line for the theme, so I have a pretty good idea of what happens and to whom it happens.

I'm going to keep everything in that story as simple as possible, so that the interior conflict can take center stage.

Also, I just want to say that, just for the moment, I am so glad I do not live in Ohio, New Hampshire, Iowa or Nevada, as I do believe they are getting bombarded with political adds.

I've been trying to steer clear of election politics. My views on politics in general have shifted so much in two years. I'm not sure I could articulate what I think about the system now, other than that it's horribly broken and depressing.

Recently, I noticed an interesting effect politics had on me. I had heard about the first presidential debate but didn't think much of it.

However, the next morning, I saw all these tidbits on facebook talking about it. So for the first time in years, I went to to see what all the brouhaha was about.

I ended up listening to the entire debate. As I listened, I could feel how my previously unengaged self got hooked into taking sides. It was fascinating.

I don't believe in either of the men. I believe they are powerful, intelligent, charismatic men who are accustomed to creating and conveying a desired image. They do this because it's the way elections are won.

It's bizarre and I can't help but think that we do it to ourselves, to some degree. If we wanted people who aren't as skilled at presenting an acceptable image, we wouldn't weed them out early on.

In fact, it was normal for people to talk about who looked more like a president after the debate. They didn't seem to notice how it was bizarre that looking like a president had nothing to do with functioning as a president.

Anyway, despite still thinking all this, I could still feel myself getting hooked into wanting to take a side! In fact, I could feel myself getting small, sort of, and petty.

I felt a kind of personal vindication whenever I read one side's congratulatory statements or the other side's misery. It was disturbing, to notice this internal shift.

In fact, I could feel myself wanting to believe that my guy was who I wanted him to be, and I felt the need to defend that image and to dismiss any claims to the contrary. It was like rocket fuel for my ego.

I remember feeling the same way, years ago, in terms of my wanting and needing my religious beliefs to be absolutely right, and the need to defend them as such, and an identification of other people based solely upon how they lined up with those beliefs.

I can't help but think that whether it's religion or politics, image and influence quickly and easily take the place of character and honesty. Along with that, here is this us vs. them feeling, which strokes the ego. I can't help but feel that they are both systems of power that rely on fear, image and ego to work.

That's my hippy statement for the day. Apparently I've gone rogue!

And that's partly why I'm not writing much about this election. I don't like what it does to me.

And on a lighter note, this is what happens when I hand my husband the camera and tell him to take pictures for the adoption print pamphlet:

Also, despite my discomfort with politics in general, I am quite fond of Franklin D. Roosevelt: