Thursday, October 4, 2012

October 4th

Our home study has been written and approved, and is being mailed to us and our placement agency.

Now if only our house in Colorado would get rented; it has been completely repaired and looks move-in ready.

I don't think the home study approval thing has sunk in yet. We are officially declared acceptable parents; we provide an acceptable home for children.

We are cleared for take off. The only two things holding us back are getting the house rented so we can get our loan, and that damn essays/picture selection thing that will make up our pamphlet.

Resolve those things, and we are good to go. I guess it only took a summer. That doesn't seem too bad, looking back.

In other news, I have been brainstorming on my next novel. I'm pretty sure it's going to be another novel.

I'm going to try one more time to capture what I have begun to call, joking, "The Theme." Since I have lately realized, very clearly, what elements of The Theme draw me in, and what they symbolize, I will write a novel that clearly showcases those things, instead of using them or drawing on them unconsciously.

Lately, I feel energized and ideas are bubbling up almost effortlessly. I go to sleep with a question and wake up the next morning with an idea.

There's still a huge amount to flesh out and I haven't begun writing it, not one word. But I'm certain that I can write it, once I know what to write.

That's the great thing about experience. That's the value in the advice to write and keep writing- at the very least, it teaches experience, and experience gives confidence.

So, I'm not particularly -or at this point- agonizing over whether or not I can write a novel. I can; I have written two. I am familiar with their length and what it feels like to develop a story, characters, plot and theme to that degree.

I'm not agonizing over whether or not I can write- I write non-stop.

This not-agonizing frees up so much energy to simply create. And simply creating something is a joy. It's a joy for its own sake.

I'm going to try this one more time. I will try The Theme done right.

And then, I will try and write something completely alien to myself. I'm curious, what that would feel like.

No doubt, long before I reach that point and probably right when I am deep in writing, we will get matched with a birth parent, and adopt a child, and I will have no time to write!

Maybe I'll end up like many other mother-writers who get up at o'dark thirty to write a few pages before daily life begins.

If so, I'll look forward to it.