I always
want everything-
to be
everything
to do
everything
to please
everyone
it’s like
a bottomless pit that appears
after
pulling the curtain back
and you
can’t take a step for the darkness
that
comes after the light
you- you
yourself- were held
right
where you were
and even
when you couldn’t
you were
held
but to
step out of that place,
you appear on the edge
of the
dark of
doing
everything perfectly
that
stretches down below you
into
everything you want to be and do
for
everyone else’s approval
endlessly.
in that
moment, wait.
wait and
let your eyes adjust after
the
light- the light of being loved
that
filled you right where you
were,
in the
moment where you couldn’t
and you
will see it’s not a pit
but now it’s
an avenue
safely to pass on,
open to the airy
sky on the one side
and
smaller rooms to the
other
those
doors are choices
and you
are free to open them,
to see
what lies within.
in one was
treasured love
in the
other, intercessory prayer
in either
room, other people
are
quietly at work,
but they
didn’t mind me
coming in
and looking-
they knew
that I was searching
they knew the One I was with
i can’t
ever be the voice that
says it
all perfectly.
i can
only be one part of a
larger tapestry.
and when
I become present
to my
fear,
i can
walk right up the stair
and into
the edge of the timeless light
and, imperfect,
be held securely.
