I keep wondering what this blog must sound like to someone who hasn't had a Christian background. I can see someone being all, "Aww! Isn't that cute. She so longs to experience God that she's making him up. That's kind of adorable... and a little creepy."
I think I would think that too. Only, then I would begin to wonder, what if He is real? What if she is talking to Him? What if it's possible to talk to God? Oh my goodness. I must look into this.
Heh.
And I have to blog about it or I will burst.
Okay, maybe not literally, but I would end up talking to the dogs, at great length and with great animation, about how amazing Christ is. And that's just not the same.
So, last night I was reading about the part where Christ said, "I am the Vine; you are the branches. Whoever lives in Me and I in him bears much (abundant) fruit. However, apart from Me [cut off from vital union with Me] you can do nothing."
And fear gripped me. I thought, Oh no! What if I'm not producing fruit?? I'll be cast off! Thrown away!! Burned!!!
Which is another prime example of why I used to never, ever read the Bible.
Then I wondered, what is this fruit, exactly? I vaguely remembered something about fruits of the spirit from Sunday School lessons of long ago, but I couldn't bring them to mind.
So I googled it.
I saw a link that had the typical kind of thinking about this topic, the approach that I am familiar with:
"Do you see these fruits in your life?" it asked, ominously. "How much of these can you identify?"
So, as gingerly as possible, I skimmed over that link, looking only for the verse. It was in Galatians, chapter 5.
My heart sank. I had a bad feeling about Galatians. It would be one of those books of the Bible that talk about the wretchedness of my condition and how full of sin and vice I am.
And it was late at night, and I wasn't up for directly re-engaging another old pattern of condemning thought.
Still though, I looked it up. Here's what I found:
"Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.
I am emphatic about this. The moment any one of you submits to circumcision or any other rule-keeping system, at that same moment Christ's hard-won gift of freedom is squandered. I repeat my warning: The person who accepts the ways of circumcision trades all the advantages of the free life in Christ for the obligations of the slave life of the law. I suspect you would never intend this, but this is what happens. When you attempt to live by your own religious plans and projects, you are cut off from Christ, you fall out of grace. Meanwhile we expectantly wait for a satisfying relationship with the Spirit. For in Christ, neither our most conscientious religion nor disregard of religion amounts to anything. What matters is something far more interior: faith expressed in love." Galatians 5:1-3
So... I'm just sitting there, stunned. Stunned. I had to pound the desk with my fist a couple times. I had to read it over and over again.
Then I read some more.
"You crazy Galatians! Did someone put a hex on you? Have you taken leave of your senses? Something crazy has happened, for it's obvious that you no longer have the crucified Jesus in clear focus in your lives. His sacrifice on the cross was certainly set before you clearly enough.
Let me put this question to you: How did your new life begin? Was it by working your heads off to please God? Or was it by responding to God's Message to you? Are you going to continue this craziness? For only crazy people would think they could complete by their own efforts what was begun by God. If you weren't smart enough or strong enough to begin it, how do you suppose you could perfect it? Did you go through this whole painful learning process for nothing? It is not yet a total loss, but it certainly will be if you keep this up!
Answer this question: Does the God who lavishly provides you with his own presence, his Holy Spirit, working things in your lives you could never do for yourselves, does he do these things because of your strenuous moral striving or because you trust him to do them in you?"
Galatians 3:1-5
I was torn between jumping up and down out of sheer joy and pounding my head against the wall out of sheer frustration. It was here all my life, and I never got this before. I never understood it, and it was always right there.
I had to pull up facebook and virtually yell at my poor dad, who happened to be on line, thank goodness.
I was all: "HAVE YOU READ GALATIANS???? OH MY GOD!!!!!! WHERE HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY LIFE????"
Poor dad.
And just because I haven't thrown enough Galatians at you, here's some more:
"Have some of you noticed that we are not yet perfect? (No great surprise, right?) And are you ready to make the accusation that since people like me, who go through Christ in order to get things right with God, aren't perfectly virtuous, Christ must therefore be an accessory to sin? The accusation is frivolous. If I was "trying to be good," I would be rebuilding the same old barn that I tore down. I would be acting as a charlatan.
What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn't work. So I quit being a "law man" so that I could be God's man. Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.
Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God's grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily."
Galatians 2:17-21 The Message
I highly recommend reading the entire book. It does also talk about the fruits of the spirit, and I was rather taken aback to realize that... wait for it... I actually recognized some of them in my character.
Of course, I can't take any credit for them... thankfully!
Oh, and, "You crazy Galatians!" is now my new and awesome catch phrase.
