Excerpt: (This is the last half of that part that turned me inside out to write.)
Gilly took Plum Blossom and ground her sewn face into the deck.
“You hateful girl,” she said. “You nasty, hateful girl. God will punish you. Do you want to go into the sea? Do you want me to throw you overboard?” She lifted the doll, holding it tightly by its cotton neck and shook it. “I will. I will throw you overboard to the sharks, to the squid, to the monsters of the deep, if you don’t straighten up and obey.”
With a nervous, high pitched whine, Pidguyok sank onto his belly on the deck beside her, the whites showing around his pale blue eyes.
“Um…” he cleared his throat. “What has the little rag doll done, exactly?”
Gilly looked up at him, startled, her own eyes wide. “She’s been a bad girl,” Gilly explained.
“But, um… what did she do wrong, exactly? Did she steal someone else’s hoard of seal bones? Or...maybe she peed on someone else’s territory? Lord knows, that can happen. Not to say that I, the elevated one, have had any experience whatsoever with any of those trespasses... ahem…”
“I don’t know,” Gilly replied, confused, and then started as the shadow of Tenshio fell over her. She looked up at him, blinking against the early morning sunlight.
“No experience at all?” Tenshio asked Pidguyok lightly. The daitoku settled himself with animal grace upon the deck, legs crossed and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees.
“Well…” drawled Pidguyok, his eyes twinkling. “Oh, alright, damn it, yes, that might have been me, a time or two.” He put his snout down and blinking his heavily lashed and brilliant eyes. “How was I to know it was someone else’s stash of bones? It’s not so far fetched to think that a bunch of seals might have just all up and died in one spot, and then got covered up by the elements, just waiting for me to come along and discover their deliciousness…”
His long pink tongue curled up; he licked his jowls and then settled his head back down on the deck, his eyes half closed.
“Gilly, you and I must talk,” said Tenshio kindly.
Gilly’s heart sunk into dread. Her head fell forward toward the deck, Plum Blossom now forgotten at her feet. Gilly’s hands drew themselves back up toward her chest, fingers entwined.
The phrase tolled in Gilly’s head like somber bells, warning of damage to come. She knew what was expected of her. Her part was to remain dumb, to remain porous. It was her part to remain tightly focused upon the drone of the words, to the exclusion of all else.
Tenshio watched her closely; he saw her body language. A mute despair seemed to emanate from her limp spine and from the pale skin at the nape of her neck, where the dark hair parted with wisps that fell flatly to either side.
“Gilly,” he said, quietly, “you are not a bad girl. Something bad happened to you. What happened to you does not have the power to turn you into a bad girl. The person who hurt you carries all the shame and all the evil and all the darkness of those deeds. You do not have carry it, because it does not belong to you.”
A shiver went down her spine and she clasped her hands up tighter under her chin. She knew she must confess. “There is bad in me,” she said. “The dead girl is.”
“I know,” said Tenshio. “But I see that little girl in a different way, Gilly. That little girl is not evil, and she is not dead. She lives inside of you because she is a part of you. This part of you knew that if you constantly remembered those dark memories, the knowledge would hurt you beyond repair. So this part of you, she kept those memories locked tightly away from you.
“This hidden girl, this part of you, cannot keep these secrets any longer, because in the Kagamihara, the hidden things are brought forth. Your secrets are being drawn forth by the world we are in, and you must eventually face them.
“But you are not alone. I am a witness to these things. I will be beside you at each step, Gilly, and I will help you carry this load. I am not ashamed of you. I am not afraid of your secrets. Whatever you face in this world, we will face it together.”
Gilly sat in the midst of her own internal earthquake. She almost hated Tenshio, for making her hope for so much, for destroying her well laid and cemented foundations. There would be no recovery if she fell from the heights that Tenshio was pulling her up toward.
She sat hunched up in the sun, distressed and at a loss. She took several deep breaths, each time attempting to speak, but at the last minute, unable to give voice to her thoughts.
With trembling fingers, she reached for Plum Blossom and shook some of the grit and dried salt off her. Tears trickled down Gilly's face.
“I got her dirty,” Gilly said in small, tear choked voice.
“We’ll give her a bath. It will come off,” Tenshio reassured her calmly.
“I’m sorry,” Gilly breathed.
“For getting her dirty?” Tenshio inquired gently. He leaned toward her, but did not touch her.
Gilly nodded. “I was mean to her.”
“She still loves you- look at her face,” Tenshio said, pointing to it. “She’s a very understanding doll.”
Gilly gave a little sob and clutched the doll up close her. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she cried brokenly. “I won’t put you in the water. I never will.”
Tenshio put his face against the top of Gilly’s head. “I love you, Gilly,” he said quietly. “I am glad that we met. Now, you must go back below deck and dress for the day, and eat your breakfast.”
"Yes, sir," Gilly breathed.
